2.28.2010

87. The Darwin Awards
88. [REC] 2
89. Friday the 13th (2009)


The Darwin Awards is one of those movies that I stumbled upon blindly years ago. It went into my collection and was promptly lost to the hands of time. Typically, if I don't watch a movie within a week or two of having it, I forget all about it. This is one such instance.

The Darwin Awards takes its name from a website that issues awards to those folks who do mankind a favor by removing themselves from the gene pool, typically dying in bizarre and sometimes stupid ways. There is also a series of books by the same name that discuss some of these cases.

The movie follows Michael Burrows, a former forensic detective for the San Francisco Police Department. He is fired from the force when his overwhelming fear of blood allows a serial killer to escape. His obsession with the Darwin Awards and his forensic skills enable him to get a tryout for a job with a large insurance company. He is paired up with Siri Taylor, a claims investigator who specializes in odd cases. Together, they travel the country investigating these odd cases.

Honestly, I was pretty surprised with how much I enjoyed this movie. While not hysterical, it is pretty funny. The story is fairly original, although it does tend to become conventional and predictable in some aspects. The cast is peppered with tons of B-listers so you'll spend some time picking people out. The leads are Joseph Fiennes and Winona Ryder. Ryder's good here. I've always had a soft spot for her. Some of the famous faces who turn up are David Arquette, Josh Charles, Kevin Dunn, Nora Dunn, Judah Friedlander, Lukas Haas, Juliette Lewis, Julianna Margulies, Chris Penn, Robin Tunney and Wilmer Valderrama. Hell, even the guys from Mythbusters and Metallica make appearances here. Overall, I liked this one enough to recommend it.


[REC] 2 is the direct follow-up to 2007's [REC]. And by extension is also a follow-up to 2008's American remake, Quarantine. This sequel literally takes place right as the first one is ending.

The setting is a large apartment building. Trapped inside are many residents who are under quarantine as a mysterious "virus" runs rampant throughout the building. Those affected by the virus seem to hunger for human flesh. This movie finds a special police squad making their way into the building with a priest to try and get to the bottom of things.

Story and acting really aren't huge factors here. This flick is all about the suspense and scares. This movie delivers both in gore-filled buckets. It clocks in at 80 minutes so it's very fast paced and delivers you right into the action quickly. My only complaint about this one is a subplot that involves a group of teenagers attempting to go into the building. It's a storyline that just doesn't go anywhere. It almost seems as if it was intended to be a bit of padding in order to get the running time a bit further over the 60 minute mark. Aside from that one minor annoyance, [REC] 2 is highly recommended.


Friday the 13th is the 2009 reboot of the successful horror franchise. The series had been dormant since 2003's much-hyped Freddy vs Jason. After 11 movies, the series really was in need of a fresh start as it had become a parody of itself. A lot of people shit on remakes because they're afraid the legacy of the classics they love will somehow be tarnished. I disagree with that philosophy big time. The originals will still be there for you to watch and enjoy. It's our job as movie fanatics to remind future generations how awesome some of the classics are. That being said, I genuinely don't see anything wrong with restarting movie franchises. Granted, rebooting a franchise that is less than 20 years old might be a bit much but aside from that, I'm down. And not for nothing but with a lot of these reboots/remakes, I'd bet that movie fans would fucking adore them if they'd come out under a different name and with different distinguishing characteristics.

Now that my dissertation on remakes is complete, let's get on to the review. Everyone knows the story of Jason Voorhees so a plot synopsis is pretty useless here. If you've been living in a cave for nearly 30 years and don't know Jason, Google the name.

I liked this one quite a bit. Later Friday the 13th movies took the Jason character into bizarre and supernatural territory. This one keeps it a tiny bit more grounded in reality. Granted, the idea of a deformed man-child who drowned 20-odd years prior is a bit bizarre in and of itself. Anywho, rather than magically being able to pop up behind a victim or catch up to a running victim while he's slowly plodding along, this Jason runs. And he has a series of tunnels under the cabins that allow him to pop up where needed. The cast here is pretty good with Jared Padalecki as Clay Miller, a guy looking for his sister whose gone missing. He's solid here. Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti and Travis Winkle all provide decent support. Derek Mears is cast as Jason and he's got the perfect build and look for the role. Hopefully if they do more Friday flicks, they'll keep him on in the role.

This one is recommended.

2.27.2010

85. Crazy/Beautiful
86. I Love You,Man


Crazy/Beautiful tells the story of Carlos and Nicole. They're high school students from entirely different worlds. Nicole is a rich girl, the daughter of a congressman. She's also a party girl out nightly drinking and drugging. Carlos is a Mexican who takes the bus two hours each way on a daily basis to attend Pacific High School. He plans on entering the Naval Academy and learning to be a pilot. What will happen when these two worlds collide?

This was my first time seeing this movie. It's one of those movies that I kind of wanted to see but just never got around to doing so. I probably should have gotten to it earlier. It's a good movie. The story is not particularly original but the cast manages to make it work. Jay Hernandez and Kirsten Dunst are the leads. They play off of each other well, with a natural chemistry. I am in no way a Kirsten Dunst fan but she's just sexy as hell here. I fell hard for her watching this one. The supporting cast includes Taryn Manning and Bruce Davison. Davison in particular is good as Nicole's dad. Really strong performance.

Crazy/Beautiful is recommended.


I Love You,Man tells the story of Peter Klaven. He's a newly engaged realtor who becomes desperate to find some guy friends to even out his side of the wedding party.

This flick stars Paul Rudd and Jason Siegel. They have a great chemistry together and play off of each other really well. They just hit it out of the park here. The supporting cast is superb as well with Rashida Jones, Jaime Pressley, Jon Favreau, Andy Samberg, JK Simmons and even Lou Ferrigno getting lots of laughs. The story is original as there simply aren't many movies out there about man-dates. And it's true...the older you get, the tougher it is to find real guy friends. I have tons of acquaintances but very few guy friends that don't live inside my computer. Perhaps that's why this flick resonates so much with me.

I just love this movie. Since the first time I saw it, it's quickly become one of my favorites. Whenever I'm in a less than stellar mood, I can pop this dvd in and know that I'll laugh and get cheered up. It gets my highest possible recommendation.

Cop Out

Cop Out is director Kevin Smith's 9th film. It's also the first one that he didn't write. Since his writing has always been his strong point, I was a bit leery going into this one. I'd seen the original trailer and it didn't do much for me. Then, a month or so later, the red-band trailer debuted online. Now that sold me on the movie. It made it look like it was going to be hysterical. So, was it? I'll get to that momentarily.

Cop Out is the story of police officers Jimmy Monroe and Paul Hodges. A sting operation goes horribly wrong leading them to be suspended for 30 days without pay. In order to supplement his income and pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, Jimmy decides to sell an extremely rare baseball card. While at the hobby shop, the place gets robbed and his card is stolen. The rest of the movie involves Monroe and Hodges attempting to get the card back and right the wrongs from their failed bust earlier.

The story here is decent. It's intended as an homage to 80s buddy flicks like 48 Hours and Lethal Weapon. And on that level, it works pretty well. Smith even goes so far as to pepper the soundtrack with 80s songs and a score from composer Harold Faltermeyer. The problem is that the movie just isn't as funny as I was hoping it'd be. It did get some laughs out of me but not like the laughs I typically get from Smith's movies. Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan are the leads with supporting turns from Kevin Pollak, Adam Brody, Seann William Scott, Rashida Jones and Guillermo Diaz. Everyone is good here with Scott and Diaz being the most interesting characters of the bunch.

In a bit of trivia, Cop Out has netted Kevin Smith the biggest opening weekend of his career, taking in roughly $18 million. If the movie can perform well for a few more weeks, it stands a chance to top the $31 million plateau that none of his movies have been able to do.

Cop Out winds up being a pretty decent movie that could have been a lot better if Smith had been the wordsmith. I actually wouldn't mind a sequel to this written by him.

2.26.2010

83. Dark Water (2005)
84. Norbit

Dark Water is a remake of the 2002 Japanese movie of the same name. It is based on the short story Floating Water by author Koji Suzuki who also penned The Ring.

Dark Water tells the story of Dahlia Williams. Newly divorced, she is trying to find an apartment in the city for herself and her daughter Ceci. Ultimately, they settle on an apartment in a huge complex on Roosevelt Island. Dahlia has found a great school for Ceci just a couple of blocks away so it'll be perfect. Shortly after moving in, they discover that there's a leak in the bedroom ceiling. Is it a plumbing issue or is there something more sinister? I'll give you a hint. If it were really a plumbing issue, this movie would last about 20 minutes.

This flick is pretty good. The story is one that seems to have become far too common in Asian cinema but since this movie is now 5 years old, it wasn't quite burned out at that point in time. It's a slow mover, really helping to build tension and a definite sense of doom and gloom. The cast is really solid with Jennifer Connelly, John C Reilly, Pete Postlethwaite and Tim Roth turning in good performances. I enjoyed this one so it gets a "recommended" tag from me.


Norbit. Dear lord, what the hell happened to Eddie Murphy? When I was growing up, he was the man. Movies like Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hours, the Golden Child and Coming to America were ones you could watch repeatedly and laugh yourself silly each time. As the years went by, his movies started to suffer in quality. Vampire in Brooklyn and Holy Man became the norm. He struck box office gold again in the late 90s with The Nutty Professor movies. He played multiple roles in both movies. I guess the success of these movies led him to believe that doing so was a good idea because he tried it again in 2007's Norbit.

Here, Murphy plays 3 characters...the titular Norbit, his morbidly obese wife Rasputia and an Asian man named Mr Wong. He's alright in the roles. Not anywhere near his 80s heyday but not quite his family friendly stuff either. The supporting cast includes Cuba Gooding Jr, Terry Crews, Thandie Newton, Eddie Griffin, Katt Williams and Marlon Wayans. The story is nothing special. It just kind of rolls along from one attempted punchline to the next. I chuckled a few times here but not enough to really get any serious enjoyment out of it. Norbit is immensely skippable.

2.25.2010

82. The Watcher

The Watcher tells the story of retired FBI Special Agent Joel Campbell. His retirement was forced as he failed to catch a serial killer who had killed his girlfriend at the time. He couldn't cope with the loss and the failure so he was forced out. He moves halfway across the country, going from Los Angeles to Chicago. He spends his days attending therapy and popping prescription drugs like candy. One night he returns from therapy to find that a girl in his apartment building has been killed by a killer with an M.O. shockingly similar to the one in LA. As it turns out, he followed Campbell to Chicago in order to rebuild the "rapport" he imagined them to have.

This is a decent thriller. The story isn't that original, what with the failed detective given another chance at making things right. The cast is good with James Spader and Keanu Reeves both playing against type. Spader is the spook while Reeves is the killer. Interesting twist since Spader is usually the sleazy guy with Reeves typically playing the good guy. Good support from Ernie Hudson and Marisa Tomei here as well. The soundtrack to this one is enjoyable too with a couple of Rob Zombie songs featured prominently and one of my favorites, 6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps.

An potentially interesting bit of trivia about this film is that Reeves didn't want to make it. There are a couple of conflicting stories about that fact. One finds Reeves agreeing to do it years prior to it actually filming. When the final script was given to him, he was dismayed to find that his part had essentially been re-written and had been given much more screen time. Also, the pay rate he'd agreed to wound up being considerably less than costars Spader and Tomei since Reeves' involvement helped boost the budget. The other story is that a friend of Reeves forged his signature on the contract. Rather than risk a lawsuit, he went through with filming.

2.24.2010

81. Edge of Darkness (2010)

Edge of Darkness is a remake of a 1985 BBC television miniseries. It's directed by Martin Campbell, director of the original series. This is Mel Gibson's first lead role since 2002's Signs. I've always been a fan of his so when I heard about this, I was pretty stoked.

Much like Legion, this movie was the victim of its trailer. It came across as a film similar to Taken. It showed Gibson's daughter getting killed and showed him running around with a gun, looking all badass. I was fully expecting vigilante Gibson to run roughshod on the criminals who took out his daughter.

Instead what I got was a fairly convoluted thriller that winds up toppling over due to its own weight. We've got massive conspiracies involving the government, radiation poisoning and terrorist threats. Just not what I was expecting at all. Had I been a bit more prepared for such a flick, I might have liked it a bit more. Chalk this one up as a disappointment.

2.22.2010

79. WWE: No Way Out 2009
80. Legion

WWE: No Way Out was the last WWE event to go by that particular name. They've gone on a bit of a "re-branding" craze and this was re-named to the less ominous, more straight forward Elimination Chamber. This particular brand went out on a high note.

This card was pretty light, having just 5 matches. Of the 5, 4 were really good. The 3rd match was fairly mediocre. The event started off with a bang with the first Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship. It saw Edge, Jeff Hardy, Triple H, Vladimir Kozlov, The Undertaker and the Big Show battling it out. Of the 6 guys, Kozlov seemed most out of place as he didn't really fit into the main event scene. Triple H wound up winning the match at about the 35 minute mark. Second match saw Randy Orton taking on Shane McMahon in a No Holds Barred match. It wasn't a great match but I always enjoy Orton's work. The main event saw John Cena defending the World Heavyweight Championship in an Elimination Chamber match against Mike Knox, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, Kane and Edge. Yes, Edge. The same guy that was in the first match. He sneak attacked another participant and took his spot in the match. The move wound up working out well for him as he won the match to take the title. Overall, this was a really solid show.


When I first saw the trailer for Legion, I practically shorted out my keyboard with drool. We were in a small diner watching a young (obviously) pregnant waitress taking a little old lady's order. The lady tells the waitress that her baby is going to burn. With that, she jumps up onto the wall and starts crawling across the ceiling before being blasted down with a shotgun. From there, we have explosions, huge guns, creepy looking folks and the general feeling that all hell is gonna break loose. Damn. I had to see this movie based on the first 40 seconds of that trailer alone. About a month after this hit theaters, I was lucky enough for it to hit the internet in a good quality copy. Away we go...

The people who did the trailer really did this movie a big disservice. They made it look like it was going to be this huge, balls-out action flick. There were a few cool scenes but ultimately, this one couldn't live up to the trailer. It was a bit on the boring side, honestly. We had a good, albeit unoriginal, concept here that was brought down by long breaks between action set pieces.

The cast was probably the best part of the whole thing. Dennis Quaid, Paul Bettany and Lucas Black are highlights. Good supporting cast as well with Kate Walsh, Tyrese Gibson, Jon Tenney and Adrianne Palicki. They're all good but they're just not given quite enough to work with.

One night down the road, I might give this one another chance. For now, however, it falls into the category labeled "disappointment".

2.21.2010

78. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 4

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia follows the everyday lives of "The Gang", Dennis, Charlie, Mac, Dee and Frank. Together, they own and run Paddy's Pub which is generally considered to be one of the worst pubs in Philadelphia and, as such, is almost always empty. These aren't 5 ordinary people though. These are 5 utter lunatics. The fact that they're mental makes the show so much fun to watch.

The best thing about this show is that you can pretty much start watching at any point and not really feel too lost. Season 4 is no different really. This one is 13 episodes spread over 3 discs. It gets off to a fast start with Mac and Dennis: Manhunters. This episode finds Mac and Dennis deciding to try hunting another human while Dee and Charlie get hooked on a mystery meat that they think might be human. Yeeeeah, that pretty much sums up the tone of the show. Essentially, it's like Seinfeld with sociopaths.

If you've got a bit of a twisted sense of humor, It's Always Sunny is perfect for you. But then, if you've got that sense of humor, you've probably been watching this all along haven't you?

2.18.2010 and 2.19.2010

76. ECW: One Night Stand 2006
77. ECW: Barely Legal 1997

ECW: One Night Stand 2006 was basically the kickoff to the ECW television program that ran on SyFy from June of 2006 until just last week. It took place in the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City where a large crowd of rabid old school ECW followers came out to cheer for their favorites while bashing the WWE's guys.

The highlights of this particular show included the match between Kurt Angle and Randy Orton. Both guys got in some offense and Orton looked good in the loss. Another was the 6 person intergender tag team match with Mick Foley, Edge and Lita taking on Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer and Beulah. Lots of hardcore stuff in this one including a barbed wire baseball bat, a barbed wire board and a spot that involved the barbed wire baseball bat being lit on fire. Lots of blood flowed here. The main event saw Rob Van Dam challenging WWE's John Cena for the WWE Championship. Cena is typically the fan favorite but not so here. He was practically booed out of the building in this one. He was just torn apart by the ECW fans. He and Van Damn had a solid match though and it was interesting to watch Cena's reaction to the crowd. All in all, this was a pretty good show.


ECW: Barely Legal 1997 was the first ever ECW pay-per-view event. They had quite a difficult time getting to that level as they were pretty controversial for the time. Most of their matches were wrestled under "Extreme rules" which meant that anything goes. There were weapons in almost every match and lots of bloodshed and carnage. Most pay-per-view providers didn't want to get their hands dirty. Eventually, ECW owner Paul Heyman convinced them to give them a chance.

I was never really a fan of old school ECW. While the violence was different from what the other companies were offering, it all started to blur together after a few matches. Same thing went with the profanity laden promos. They were novel at first but quickly grew old.

Since this was ECW's first pay-per-view, I was a bit interested in it. Overall, the show was meh at best. The best match on the card to me was Taz taking on his former tag team partner Sabu. The match was very physical but told the story they way it needed to be told. It also did so without being overly reliant on weapons or bloodshed. Good stuff.

2.16.2010

72. Night Shift
73. Daybreakers
74. Everybody's Fine
75. Ninja Assassin


Another snow filled shitty day. Due to the never ending saga that is becoming my mother's hospital stay, I wound up calling out from work. I didn't get any new information like I was hoping to but the wife and I did work on convincing my grandmother to start shutting down my mom's apartment. It's time to consider getting rid of the cats. From there, turn off the gas and electricity. All they're doing is running up bills that aren't gonna get paid. At any rate, on with the reviews...


Night Shift is one of director Ron Howard's earliest features. It tells the story of two guys working in a morgue who hatch a scheme to become pimps. It's actually a lot better than it sounds on paper.

This flick stars Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton. Winkler is the straight laced Chuck. He's a former Wall Street guy who stressed out and needed a change of scenery so he wound up working at the city morgue. He gets stuck with the night shift to accommodate the hiring of the boss' nephew. Upon starting that shift, he meets his new partner Billy Blazejowski, played by Keaton. Billy is the exact opposite of Chuck. He's an idea man...someone who is always thinking. Chuck has a neighbor, Belinda, played by Shelley Long. She's a prostitute whose pimp has just been killed. Billy decides that taking over the operations and working out of the morgue would be a win-win situation.

The story here is pretty original. Not something that has been touched on much. Winkler and Keaton are good. They have a good chemistry and work really well off of each other. The only thing that irked me a bit is that there seem to be 4 songs on the soundtrack and they just kept getting played repeatedly. Got a little annoying as time went on.


Daybreakers is set in the year 2019. There has been an outbreak of an infectious disease turning most of the population into vampires. This happened in 2009. 10 years in, human blood is at an all time low. The human population has dwindled down to 5%. The vampires are forced to rely on blood harvested from humans captured and brought to pharmaceutical labs. The biggest of these labs is Bromley Marks. There, Edward Dalton is head hematologist and is working on a blood substitute.

This was a really good movie. The story is original and topical. You can say that the vampires' reliance on blood is similar to that of mankind's reliance on oil or other natural resources. The cast is solid, led by Ethan Hawke, Sam Neill and Willem Dafoe. There's plenty of gore and vampiric carnage to keep the gorehounds happy.

Daybreakers is recommended.


Everybody's Fine is a dramedy about a recent widower whose 4 grown children are supposed to come and visit him. One by one, they all cancel on him so he decides to take a road trip and pay them all visits instead. It's a remake of the 1990 Italian film Stanno tutti bene.

Robert DeNiro stars as Frank Goode. Kate Beckinsale, Austin Lysy, Sam Rockwell and Drew Barrymore are cast as DeNiro's grown children. All the performances here are really solid with DeNiro, Rockwell and Barrymore leading the way. The story does tend to be a bit on the predictable side but the performances make up for it. This movie has a lot of heart. Be warned though, it's not the holiday comedy that the box art makes it appear to be. It's definitely on the serious side. Of all the movies I watched this day, this is the one I liked the most.


Ninja Assassin tells the story of Raizo, an orphan taken in and raised by the Ozunu Clan. He's trained in the skills to be a ninja. After being betrayed by the clan as a young adult, he sets out to sabotage the clan.

It took me 4 attempts to make it through this movie. I wanted to like it. I really did. I just couldn't get into it though. Don't get me wrong, there are some cool fight scenes. Fight scenes alone don't make a movie though. I think the first thing that kind of took me out of this movie was all the CG blood. In a movie like this where the violence was so over the top, having CG blood serves as a constant reminder that you're watching a movie. They should have stuck with practical blood on this one...it would have made it more effective. Again, I wanted to like it but it just isn't gonna happen.

2.14.2010

70. Career Opportunities
71. WWE: Vengeance 2007

Since my mother's health issues have been getting worse, I've been slowing down considerably here. I haven't watched any dvds for 3 of the last 4 days. I just haven't been all that fired up about doing much of anything honestly. I've been working and sleeping. Beating myself up about all of the bad things I ever did to my mom has checked in at a very close number 3. All of that is another story for another time and another place however. Onto the reviews...

1991's Career Opportunities is one of those little movies I used to catch on cable all the time. It is the story of Jim Dodge. He's the town liar...the kid who always has some sort of grand tale that he passes off to the townsfolk. He's a spy. He works for the CIA. Dinner dates with the princess of Austria. Truth be told, he's a 21 year old guy who lives at home with his parents and can't keep a job. Josie McClellan is the town beauty queen. Her daddy's rich and she can have anyone and anything she wants. Things aren't always quite how they seem as Jim gets to know Josie on his first night at a brand new job.

Jim is played by Frank Whaley. I've always liked him and it's probably because of this flick. In what should be a pretty simplistic role, he gives Jim a lot of layers and depth. Same with Jennifer Connelly's Josie. Both give their characters more depth than you would expect from a movie like this. It doesn't hurt much that Connelly is absolutely gorgeous here. My 14 year old self had a huge crush on her after seeing this. The story here is pretty good. My only complaint with it is the subplot with the robbers. It feels almost as if it was added just to create some conflict for the leads and to pad the running time a bit. This one was actually written by the late John Hughes. It came right at the end of his days in the Hollywood spotlight. Shortly after this and his other 1991 flick, Curly Sue, he opted to back out of the limelight. He stuck to writing screenplays and did so mainly under a stage name.

Career Opportunities is a pretty good comedy. It's worth checking out.


WWE: Vengeance 2007 was my pick to close out the evening. This was the 7th annual Vengeance event produced by the WWE and would be the last. Following this event, they changed the name to Night of Champions.

This show saw all 9 WWE titles up for grabs. Personal highlights were CM Punk taking on Johnny Nitro for the then-vacant ECW World title. The main event was a 5 man Championship Challenge match featuring John Cena, Randy Orton, Bobby Lashley, King Booker and Mick Foley. It was an entertaining match but a bit on the short side. They could have done a lot more with an extra 7 or 8 minutes allotted to them.

2.11.2010

69. WWE: Backlash 2007

Thursday's choice was WWE: Backlash 2007. Backlash is the event that follows Wrestlemania and is often viewed as one of the best events of the year. This one? Not so much. There really weren't many highlights for me here. Two of these matches actually had rematches at the following month's event so I guess they didn't work that well for anyone. The lone highlight here was the main event. It was a "Fatal Four-Way" match pitting Randy Orton, Edge, John Cena and Shawn Michaels against each other for the WWE Championship. It was a solid match with lots of action and the type of finish that WWE doesn't really do. It worked well here though to further the storylines.

2.10.2010

64. A Dangerous Man
65. Hachiko: A Dog's Story
66. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
67. Love Happens
68. Trial and Error

Thanks to an impending snow storm, yesterday was a day spent mainly on the couch. Not much else to do when they're calling for as much snow as they were. Fortunately, we didn't get hit nearly as hard as the forecasts said. Roughly 2 or 3" total. Anyway, let's get on with the reviews.


A Dangerous Man is Steven Seagal's latest DTV flick. He plays Shane Daniels, a former Special Forces op who has just served 6 years in prison for a crime he didn;t commit. Upon his release, he finds himself in legitimate hot water after witnessing a couple of Chinese mafia kill a state trooper and other potential witnesses. He winds up on the run with a duffel bag full of cash and a girl that he rescued from the Chinese fellas.

There's really not a ton to talk about here really. It's your typical Seagal action flick. In director Keoni Waxman, Seagal seems to have found someone who gets how to make a Seagal movie. They teamed up on The Keeper prior to this one and it was one of his best in quite some time. This one continues that trend. It's not a great movie but it's better than a lot of the DTV shit Seagal has peddled over the past few years. Good action sequences and fighting scenes.

A Dangerous Man is recommended to Seagal fans. If you don't like him, you won't like it.


Hachiko: A Dog's Story is not my standard fare. First of all, I don't do drama all that often. I find that they too frequently lack the type of conflict that I enjoy in my movies. Secondly, I usually don't care for animal movies. Mainly because they never end well. Something tragic happens and I wind up bawling like an idiot while trying to pretend that I'm not. And third, I just don't care very much about Richard Gere. I've enjoyed a few of his movies but in the pantheon of my favorite actors, he's not even close to making the cut. Besides, his middle name is Tiffany. What the fuck is up with that? Anywho, the reason I wanted to see this movie is that it was filmed right here in my home town of Woonsocket. Just about a 2 minute drive from my house actually. Seeing things on tv that I've actually seen in person always dazzles me for some reason.

Hachiko is based on a true story. Also, there is a 1987 Japanese movie telling this story. Here, Gere plays a college music professor who commutes to work daily via the train. Upon returning to the station one evening, he finds a lost puppy wandering along the platform. Since no one else is around, he winds up bringing him home. Flyers are placed around town but no one comes forward to claim the dog. So, Gere and his family ultimately wind up keeping him. Over time, the dog proves his loyalty in ways unheard of.

Given all the strikes this movie had against it going in, I'm surprised to say that I actually liked it. The cast is good with Gere actually turning in a solid performance. Good support from Joan Allen, Sarah Roemer and Jason Alexander as well. The story was interesting enough to keep my attention for the duration. And seeing the Dominos Pizza that I order from on my tv screen? Just priceless. Hachiko is recommended.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is a quasi sequel/remake to Abel Ferrara's 1992 flick Bad Lieutenant. Of course, that's what the marketing folks want you to believe. From what I understand, this was a separate script that had the Bad Lieutenant name tacked on by producers in an attempt to garner some sort of buzz. Director Werner Herzog claims he'd never seen the original and considers this to be its own movie.

This one tells the story of a police officer who gets injured in the line of duty. He winds up addicted to pain medication due to his injuries and winds up ingesting much harder substances to cope with the pain. He has to try to solve a case involving a family while dealing with his life spiraling down the drain.

Nicolas Cage stars here and is excellent. I'm actually a fan of his and have enjoyed quite a few of his movies. The supporting cast is solid with Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes, Brad Dourif, Xzibit and Shawn Hatosy featured. The story is interesting and engaging. I recommend this one.


Love Happens is a 2009 romantic drama starring Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston. Going into this one, I didn't know much about it. Based on the movie poster, I assumed it was some sort of cutesy romantic comedy. While there are some funny moments, it definitely doesn't classify as a comedy at all.

Eckhart plays Burke Ryan, author of a self help book dealing with the loss of loved ones. He hosts seminars and workshops utilizing methods from his book to help people with their losses. While in Seattle, he meets Aniston's Eloise, a florist. They get together and become friends but things aren't quite how they seem.

Performances here are pretty good. Eckhart and Aniston are both likable. Always a plus. Support comes from Martin Sheen, Dan Fogler, and Judy Greer. All 3 are good but a bit underutilized. More of Greer is always a good thing. Anywho, the story is a bit predictable as it's fairly easy to see where the story is going after about 20 minutes or so. It doesn't help much that the trailer gives away a couple of the film's plot twists. Not that this is The Sixth Sense or anything, but sometimes these twists make the movie. Blowing your load in the trailer just kind of takes something away from the experience.

Overall, Love Happens is not a great movie. The cast manages to make it better than it should be though. Check it out.


Trial and Error closed out the night for us. This 1997 comedy stars Jeff Daniels, Michael Richards and Charlize Theron. Daniels is an attorney who just made partner at his law firm. Richards is his best friend, an actor. Daniels gets sent out to a remote town in Nevada to request a continuance in an important case, thus interfering with his impending bachelor party. Richards decides to follow him out there to throw him his bash anyway. Things go a bit haywire and Daniels gets hurt in a barroom brawl. Due to his inability to function on painkillers, Daniels can't make it to court, sending Richards in his stead. Things go wrong and the case winds up going to trial with Richards stuck playing the lawyer.

This is another of those guilty pleasure movies that I tend to really enjoy. There's not much to the story and there's not much to the performances but it's an easy way to kill 90 minutes. There's nothing wrong with that. Daniels and Theron are both likable and have pretty good chemistry together. Richards plays kind of a watered down version of his Seinfeld character but that's what he is best at. Theron looks great here. This is before she started getting into the serious roles and is the time period that I most enjoyed her work.

Trial and Error is a guilty pleasure movie, not much more. If you're looking for high art, go elsewhere.

2.8.2010 and 2.9.2010

62. Cabin Fever 2
63. The Collector

Cabin Fever 2 is the (obvious) follow-up to Eli Roth's 2002 movie Cabin Fever. A lot of people hated the original but I enjoyed it for what it is...a solid flick that was just gory as hell. The sequel will probably garner the same hatred that the first did, if not more.

It picks up right where the original left off. Rider Strong makes a cameo appearance to get things rolling, coming as a bit of a surprise seeing as he gets top billing. And from there, we're off. An animated sequence shows a truck delivering cases of infected bottled water to a high school just in time for their prom. Infected water is served, people get the mysterious virus like in the original and all hell breaks loose.

Whereas the original had a decent story and a good cast to supplement the gore, this one has neither. For the most part, the cast is unknown. Probably for good reasons as none of them are all that solid. Or even likable. Where the characters in the first were jackasses, you still rooted for them to survive. Not so here. I was hoping they'd die slow, painful deaths. The story was disjointed and bounced around aimlessly. Entire plot points wound up being forgotten about. And at the end, rather than resolve things, they have an unnecessary strip club scene featuring a character that was completely trivial previously in the movie. And they wrap up with another animated sequence. This one done worse than the previous one.

Director Ti West wound up petitioning the Director's Guild to remove his name from this due to disappointment with the studio. He was denied so he gets to carry this flick around with him eternally, like luggage. Or herpes. His lack of participation on the post-production end really wound up hurting this flick. You can skip this one.


2009's The Collector is the directorial debut from Marcus Dunstan. He and his writing partner Patrick Melton have been the guiding forces behind the Feast series and Saw 4-7. Aside from Feast 2 and Feast 3, I've enjoyed their stuff quite a bit. The Collector is no different.

The Collector tells the story of Arkin, a handyman. He's also an ex-convict who occasionally dabbles in burglary in an attempt to work off a debt incurred in prison. His ex-wife needs money quickly in order to pay off some loan sharks that are after her. Arkin decides that he'll rob the house of the last family he worked on. Unbeknown to him, the house is also being targeted by The Collector. The Collector is a serial killer and torture aficionado so Arkin's night is about to take an ugly turn.

As with a lot of B-horror flicks, The Collector largely stars people I've never heard of. Upon checking IMDB on this one, I discovered that quite a few of them would be known by tv fans. Everyone here is pretty good though. Josh Stewart is Arkin and is the best here. He looks the part of sleazy ex-convict, for sure. He plays the anti-hero really well. Story-wise, this is a cross between Saw and Home Alone. I know it sounds odd but picture the end sequence of Home Alone but with bear traps and acid as opposed to Christmas ornaments and paint cans. It gets over the top and you really need to suspend disbelief but it's just engaging as hell. The cat-and-mouse game between Arkin and The Collector works really well. It just sucked me right in. The movie is not shy on the gore either. There's plenty of blood and guts to go around. This is just a nasty little movie. And I loved every minute of it.

Originally, this script was pitched as a Saw prequel but the producers of the series opted to not go that route at the time. I'm glad they didn't as I'd rather have this as a stand-alone flick. I recommend this one pretty highly.

2.6.2010 and 2.7.2010

59. The Curve
60. Midnight Movie
61. WWE: Judgment Day 2007


The Curve stars Matthew Lillard, Randall Batinkoff, Michael Vartan and Keri Russell back when she had the full-on Felicity 'do. The story focuses on the urban legend that if your college dorm mate dies, you'll get a 4.0 GPA for the semester. Here, Lillard and Vartan plan to 86 Batinkoff to get their grades boosted enough to help them advance to Harvard. Of course, things don't always go quite as planned.

This came out shortly after the successful Scream. It follows in that film's footsteps with the WB type casting of 30 year olds playing college students. This is a cross between Scream, Urban Legend and I Know What You Did Last Summer. It didn't see any of the success that those films did though as it went straight to video.

The cast here is decent enough. Lillard more or less plays a slightly mellower version of his character in Scream. He still tends to veer into campiness from time to time. Batinkoff, Russell and Vartan are all pretty good. The eternally beautiful Dana Delaney has a small role here as well. Story-wise, this one isn't breaking any ground. There are enough twists and turns to keep it interesting though.

All in all, The Curve is a decent time-waster.


Midnight Movie is a DTV flick starring a whole bunch of folks you've never heard of. The setting is a small movie theater. They're showing a horror movie from the 70s, made by a director who went insane shortly after making the movie and wound up vanishing from a mental hospital. Things don't go quite as planned when the killer from the movie makes the leap into reality and starts picking off theatergoers one by one.

This is a pretty cool movie honestly. I was very pleasantly surprised with it. The acting is alright, all things considered. The story has gaping plot holes and huge gaps of logic but for some reason, I was hooked. The killer has a cool look which often helps movies like these. If you do watch, be prepared...this movie really doesn't explain much of the happenings. It could definitely use a prequel or sequel to give some backstory and explore why things that aren't humanly possible have become so.

Midnight Movie is a pretty good DTV flick and is worth a rental.


WWE: Judgment Day 2007 is another typical WWE pay-per-view event. Some decent matches and some matches that were the perfect time to use the bathroom or grab a snack. The piss poor match this time out was a handicap match with Bobby Lashley taking on Umaga, Shane McMahon and Vince McMahon. The match itself was roughly a minute long but the shenanigans both pre and post-match took it into the realm of waytoofuckinglong. Personal highlights for me were the opening match with Ric Flair taking on Carlito. They say Flair can carry anyone to a decent match and this is true here. He made Carlito look like a million bucks here. Other highlight was CM Punk taking on Elijah Burke. They had a decent amount of time to work with and showcased themselves pretty well. Of course I'm a bit biased because I'm a huge CM Punk fan.

2.3.2010 - 2.5.2010

56. Blade Runner
57. WWE Armageddon 2002
58. Minghags

I knew that once my vacation was over things would slow down some. I just didn't think they'd get quite this slow. I'm still way ahead of my one-a-day pace but slowing down like this isn't making much of a dent in my massive unwatched piles. This coming Wednesday is my next day off and for the first time in a while, there is absolutely nothing planned. It'll also be the last time for a while. So, I figure that might be a good day to just bang out some titles. Anyway, let's get on with the reviews, shall we?


Wednesday night's movie pick was Blade Runner. Originally, it was Tuesday's pick but I fell asleep. Nothing like waking up on the couch at 2am to baffle the everloving shit out of a fella.

This 1982 sci-fi/action flick stars Harrison Ford and is set in the year 2019. A company has created genetically engineered human duplicates. These duplicates are called replicants and they're pretty much undetectable from regular humans. They're primarily used as slaves and workers in colonies on other planets. After a violent uprising, they are banned from Earth. A special unit of police officers called blade runners are in charge of hunting any rogue replicants down and "retiring" them. Ford is Deckard, a retired blade runner brought back for one more go-round to retire 4 escaped replicants.

This is a great movie. So great, in fact, that I just dropped 50 bucks to purchase the ultimate "Final Cut" version of this in a limited edition 5 disc set. I knew I should have bought it when it first came out, but I digress. Ford is excellent here with strong support from Sean Young, Daryl Hannah and Edward James Olmos. The highlight has to be Rutger Hauer in one of his earliest English language films. He is just perfect here as Roy Batty, the leader of the escaped replicants. His climactic fight scene with Deckard was pretty intense.

The story is solid. I like movies that can make you think after they're done and this is one of them. It's loosely based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick. This is the first of many adaptations of his works brought to the big screen. Others include Minority Report, Next, Total Recall and A Scanner Darkly.

Blade Runner is highly recommended.


Thursday's pre-work pick was WWE's Armageddon 2002 pay-per-view. As with most events, there are hits and misses. Highlights here are the WWE Title match between Kurt Angle and the Big Show and the "Three Stages of Hell" match between Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Best match of the show was Chris Benoit taking on Eddie Guerrero. A solid 16 minutes of hard hitting, back and forth action.


Friday's "movie" was Minghags, directed and starring Bam Margera. It's a loose sequel to 2003's Haggard. It had been delayed and pushed back many times over the years before finally seeing a dvd release in 2009. Frankly, it should have stayed on the shelf.

I like Bam Margera. I've liked his CKY stuff, his work on Jackass and I really enjoyed Haggard. Shit, I even liked the reality show featuring his wedding. This movie was just fucking terrible though. Rather than attempting to make a decent movie, it looks like cast and crew were just too focused on having a good time and not caring about what ended up onscreen. I really don't have much else to say about this one honestly. I just finished watching it a couple of hours ago and it's already starting to fade from my memory. Probably for the best.

2.2.2010

55. Less Than Zero

Less Than Zero is based on the novel of the same name by Bret Easton Ellis. It's a tale of drug use and morality between 3 friends fresh out of high school in the decadent 80s.

The story is decent. It tells the story of 3 friends who have just graduated high school. One moves on to college in New York while the other two stay in California and wind up falling into bed together causing a large rift in the group. The college student stays on the straight and narrow while the others begin a downward descent into drug abuse. Come Christmas time, the student goes home to visit family and gets sucked into the madness surrounding his old friends.

This flick stars 80s luminaries Andrew McCarthy, Jami Gertz and James Spader. The best performance is Robert Downey Jr's. His turn as the spoiled rich kid who gets in way over his head is just excellent. Seeing the depths he'll sink to to maintain his high is sad. Also a bit ironic, given his own battles with personal demons later in his life. Spader is also solid as the drug dealer/prick. This was the type of role he excelled at at the time and this performance is really just no different. McCarthy and Gertz give it their all but their performances definitely pale in comparison.

1.31.2010

54. Silent Scream (1980)


Silent Scream is a 1980 slasher flick. Several college students in desperate need of a place to live off-campus wind up renting rooms at a large house overlooking the ocean. The house is inhabited by a mother and son. Everything seems perfect until people start turning up dead.

This is a fairly typical slasher of this era. Unseen killer knocks off horny college students one by one. It's similar to the movies Friday the 13th and Halloween, both of which preceded this one. It's pretty boring honestly. It takes nearly 30 minutes before the first victim is offed. And from there, it's another 25+ until the next one meets their maker. Chaos ensues in the last 15 minutes but by then, it's a bit late to salvage the movie. The music score in this one manages to make some scenes unintentionally hilarious. The dramatic horror-type music begins leading us to believe something terrible is about to happen. Cut to someone taking a bite out of a sandwich. Silly stuff really.

If you're a slasher fan like I am, this might be worth a rental just so you can say you saw one of the many forgotten slashers from this era.

1.30.2010

53. The Nines

The Nines is screenwriter John August's directorial debut. You might not know the name but you probably know some of his scripts. Go, the Charlie's Angels movies and a trifecta of Tim Burton movies: Big Fish, The Corpse Bride and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The movie consists of 3 short stories with the actors playing a different role in each segment. Ultimately, all 3 stories connect and everything begins to make sense.

Ryan Reynolds is the star here. For those of you who think he's a one trick pony who can only pull off the goofy roles, think again. He's really good in all 3 roles, showing lots of depth and versatility.

This is really not an easy movie. You need to be paying attention. You will think about this movie once the dvd is out of the player. It's that type of flick. That being said, it's definitely not for everyone.