Miss March

156. Miss March

Miss March comes to us from a couple of the Whitest Kids U Know, Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore. They write, direct and star here.

Cregger is Eugene, an 18 year old high school student. He's about to graduate. He's also about to become a man, finally agreeing to sleep with his girlfriend after their senior prom. Moore is his friend, Tucker. Before Eugene can get upstairs to the bedroom where his girlfriend is waiting, Tucker plies him with shots of alcohol to try and loosen him up. Eugene winds up imbibing a bit too much and inadvertently choosing the wrong door to go through. Instead of finding his girl, he finds himself falling down a flight of steps into the basement. The fall doesn't hurt him as much as the items that fall on him do. Ultimately the whole incident leaves him comatose. Some 4 years later, he comes out of the coma with a bit of assistance from Tucker. Imagine his surprise when he finds out that his girlfriend is currently Miss March in Playboy magazine.

As I often say in this blog, this movie is not high art. There are dick jokes, shit jokes and lots of sex talk. Honestly, these are some of my favorite types of movies. I'd hope to hell that you've all figured that out by now however. This movie fits right in line with my taste and was actually what inspired me to check out the Whitest Guys U Know on dvd.

The story here is decent, albeit fairly typical for this type of flick. The cast really helps to elevate this one. Moore and Cregger are great, playing off of each other very well. The years of chemistry they've built up is very obvious. Moore's facial expressions add so much to some of his scenes. The supporting cast includes Craig Robinson, Raquel Allesi and Molly Stanton. And it wouldn't be a movie regarding Playboy if Hugh Hefner didn't make a cameo in there at some point.

Overall, this is a really enjoyable flick. Lots of laughs. I recommend it.

Book of Eli/ The New Daughter

154. The Book of Eli
155. The New Daughter


The Book of Eli is a post-apocalyptic action/thriller.

Denzel Washington stars as Eli, a man walking from the east coast all the way out to the west coast. Set 30 years after an apocalyptic event, his road is littered with very little food and lots of trouble from roving groups of people who would be more than happy to dine on his flesh. Eli can hold his own however, as he is quite skilled in fighting and with weapons. Nearing the coast, he stops at a small town built and run by Carnegie. Carnegie dreams of building more towns but his plans are dependent on a book that Eli happens to have in his possession. He's going to try to get the book out of Eli's hands...one way or another.

This movie was directed by the Hughes brothers, best known for Menace II Society and Dead Presidents. It was their first movie in over 9 years. The story is engaging, sucking you into Eli's world right from the start. There are quite a few good action set pieces along the way, all of which are well done. The cast is excellent with Washington really setting the tone as Eli. I've always been a fan of his and have really yet to see a bad performance from him. Carnegie is played by Gary Oldman in a solid performance. Support comes from Mila Kunis, Jennifer Beals, Tom Waits and Malcolm McDowell.

Overall, this is a really good movie. It's nearly two hours but it moves along at a nice pace. I really enjoyed it. I highly recommend checking it out when it hits video on June 15th.


The New Daughter stars Kevin Costner as John James, a newly divorced father of two kids. He has just purchased an old country house to live in. Things are going well until he begins to notice a change in his daughter.

This movie is the directorial debut from screenwriter Luis Berdejo. Berdejo is best known for writing [REC]. Aside from Costner, this flick stars Ivana Baquero and Samantha Mathis. Support comes from Gattlin Griffith, Noah Taylor, James Gammon and Erik Palladino. The cast is pretty good. I'm a fan of Costner so I've enjoyed most of his stuff. It's actually nice to see him doing something that's not a romantic comedy or sports movie at this point. Baquero is solid as the titular daughter. She's best known for her role as Ofelia in Pan's Labyrinth. She's definitely got a bright future ahead of her.

While the cast is good, I can't quite say the same of the movie. On a whole, it's decent but it could have been much better. The story is interesting, touching on a mythology not often seen in movies. I just feel as though once that stuff was revealed in the movie, it just kind of started to topple over from its own weight. There really wasn't anywhere else to go from there but down. It's too bad, because the first hour or so built a really solid feeling of dread.

Overall, The New Daughter is decent but nothing worth really hunting down. If you're a Costner fan, see it. Otherwise, skip it.

Whitest Kids U Know Season 1

153. The Whitest Kids U Know Season 1


The Whitest Kids U Know is a sketch comedy show from American comedy troupe of the same name.

The Whitest Kids U Know consists of Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger, Sam Brown, Timmy Williams and Darren Trumeter. The group started at New York's School of Visual Arts in the year 2000. It was an officially sanctioned club at the school so they were a bit hampered by the school's rules. Once graduation came in 2003, they officially separated from the school and began working the comedy club circuit. In 2007, they began airing a show on the cable network Fuse TV. This dvd set is from that particular season.

The 10 episodes collected here are really solid. I've been a fan of sketch comedy for as long as I can remember, always loving The Kids in the Hall. In tone and spirit, these guys come extremely close to the high standard that the KitH set years before. Given time, I'd like to think that they can become as widely known as KitH are. Particular highlights here are the sketches Triumph of the Ill (Hitler Rap), Hey There Kids (Get A New Daddy), Abraham Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth. I'd say a good 85% of the sketches overall are pretty damn funny though.

For fans of sketch comedy, you really can't go wrong in checking out this season set. It's 10 episodes contained on two discs and in most instances, can be had for under 20 bucks. I recommend this one.

Trojan War

152. Trojan War

Trojan War is director George Huang's second film following the critically acclaimed Swimming With Sharks.

Brad is in love with his classmate Brooke. Only problem is, Brooke doesn't know that Brad exists. When Brooke discovers that she's failing a class that Brad is an ace in, she quickly learns of his existence. She asks him to tutor her on the subject. While working, the topic quickly turns to Brooke's boyfriend and basically how terrible of a person he is. Brad is a nice guy who just so happens to be in the right place at the right time. The only catch is that he doesn't have protection. So, he hits the streets in search of a condom. Since nothing worthwhile is easy, Brad has all types of problems in tracking down what he needs.

This is a really enjoyable little movie. Not many people seem to know about it because it was essentially direct-to-video. It opened theatrically on 1 screen back in September of 1997, grossing a whopping $309 in its one week run.

The story isn't re-inventing the wheel. The movie is pretty predictable, right from the start. The cast makes the movie work though. Will Friedle, of Boy Meets World fame is Brad. Jennifer Love Hewitt plays his best friend, Leah. And Marley Shelton is Brooke. All three leads are solid. Friedle is believable in the situations he gets into. Shelton is easy on the eyes. And Hewitt is certainly no slouch in the looks department. I've always had a thing for her. She's freaking gorgeous here. Support is provided by Danny Masterson, Jason Marsden, Eric Balfour, Anthony Michael Hall and Lee Majors.

Trojan War is a better than average teen sex comedy. I recommend checking it out.

If Looks Could Kill/ Human Centipede

150. If Looks Could Kill
151. Human Centipede: First Sequence


If Looks Could Kill stars early 90s heartthrob Richard Grieco and Gabrielle Anwar.

Grieco stars here as Michael Corben, high school student. At his high school graduation ceremony, he's shocked to learn that he's a credit shy of actually receiving his diploma. As it turns out, he received an "Incomplete" in his French class. Luckily for him, his French teacher is organizing a trip to France for her students. If he can tag along and do the required work, he'll get his diploma. Unfortunately for him, at the same time there is international drama starting at the same time as his trip. In a case of mistaken identity, Corben is mistaken for Michael Corben, secret agent.

I've always liked this movie. When I was younger, it used to play on HBO all the time, thus ensuring that I'd see it pretty often. For a 14 year old, seeing a teenager as an action hero was cool as hell. And Grieco, while not actually a teenager at the time, was hot on the heels of his role on 21 Jump Street. So, his name was definitely out there. I also had a huge crush on Gabrielle Anwar at the time.

The story here isn't anything all that original, as mistaken identity movies have been prevalent throughout the years. It's not particularly bad though. There's a decent blend of action and comedy with some cool spy gizmos added to keep up the interest level. In terms of the cast, Grieco is not exactly the best actor alive. He's tolerable here though, thanks to a healthy dose of charisma. Anwar is solid. Support comes from Linda Hunt and Roger Rees with a small cameo from The Who's Roger Daltrey.

Overall, this is a good guilty pleasure flick. I don't highly recommend it or anything but it's worth watching if you stumble upon it.


Human Centipede comes to us from director Tom Six. This is his first English language movie.

This has been one of the most talked about movies of the last 8 months or so. At least to other geeks like myself that hang out at message boards and the like. Discussion started back in October and the hype has been building since. Upon hearing the premise, I was pretty excited about the prospects of actually seeing this.

For those not in the know, the title sums up the movie pretty well. A retired German surgeon whose specialty was separating Siamese twins wants to try connecting people rather than disconnecting them. He intends to take three people and hook them together via their gastric systems into the world's first human centipede.

All in all, I've got to say that this was one of the biggest disappointments I've seen in quite some time. The performances were bad. Lead Dieter Laser was really not impressing me much. Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie and Akihiro Kitamura weren't much better as the eventual three parts of the centipede. The story was about the only good thing to come out of this. It's original, to say the least. It's always nice to see something that hasn't been done before in this day and age of remakes, reboots and re-imaginings. However, it was just done piss poorly. This movie could have been so much more than it ended up being. Honestly, there's not enough gore and nastiness to please horror fans and the concept is too horrifying for non horror fans.

Overall, Human Centipede really isn't worth watching.

Major League: Back to the Minors

149. Major League: Back to the Minors

Major League: Back to the Minors is the third and final film in the Major League series.

This one's a bit different than the other two in that it doesn't follow the Cleveland Indians. Rather, it focuses on the Buzz, a farm club for the Minnesota Twins. Roger Dorn is now the owner of the Twins. He recruits Gus Cantrell, a journeyman pitcher to become the new manager of the Buzz, the Twins' AAA farm team. The manager of the Twins doesn't get along very well with Gus due to some issues from the past. Ultimately, a challenge is issued for the Buzz to play the Twins for bragging rights.

This is a surprisingly decent movie, all things considered. As always, the baseball stuff is done really well. The cast is solid with newcomers Scott Bakula and Ted McGinley as the clashing managers. Both are good here. I've always liked both of them so it's good to see them together. The list of returning cast members shrinks down here some with only Corbin Bernsen, Dennis Haysbert and Bob Uecker appearing in all 3 movies. Eric Bruskotter and Takaaki Ishibashi do reprise their roles from the previous sequel. Walton Goggins, Kenny Johnson, Judson Mills and Peter MacKenzie are the other prominent Buzz players. Oddly enough, a few years later, Goggins and Johnson would go on to be members of the Strike Force on The Shield.

All in all, I'd recommend this one. Especially if you've enjoyed the others in this series.

Major League II

148. Major League II

Major League II is the follow-up to 1989's Major League.

This one takes place the season after the Cleveland Indians' Cinderella finish. Former third baseman Roger Dorn is the new owner and they've just signed free agent slugger Jack Parkman. What could possibly go wrong? How about everything? You've got a lead-off hitter who wants to hit homeruns. A power hitter who is too zen for his own good. And a power pitcher who is more concerned with his image than with the speed of his fastball. Needless to say, it's going to be a long season.

Unlike the previous movie, I find the comedy in this one to hold up fairly well. The baseball action is great, like the first. The story is interesting as it takes a team that overachieved the year prior and turns them back into the losers that they started off as. Again, the cast is solid. Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Corbin Bernsen and Dennis Haybsert all return to the lineup. Omar Epps replaces Wesley Snipes here. Bob Uecker again shines as Harry Doyle. David Keith and Eric Bruskotter are the newbies to the team who each have their own quirks.

Overall, Major League II is another enjoyable one. It's worth checking out if you're a fan of the genre.

The Bounty Hunter/Valentine's Day

146. The Bounty Hunter
147. Valentine's Day

The Bounty Hunter tells the story of a divorced couple whose paths cross when the husband learns that his ex-wife has a warrant out for her.

Gerard Butler is Milo Boyd, former police officer turned titular bounty hunter. He's just wrapping up a case when he discovers that his ex-wife, journalist Nicole Hurley (Jennifer Aniston) has an arrest warrant out due to a missed court date. Figuring that it's easy money, he takes the case. Little does he know, Nicole has missed the court date due to a story she's working on. A story involving a suicide that might not actually be a suicide. As it turns out, there are a few people out there who would like to see Nicole out of the picture.

This movie is not exactly high art. Let's get that clear, right from the start. The story is extremely predictable so don't expect any surprises. However, it is a pretty pleasant time-waster. Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston work pretty well together. Butler is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors. Since 300, he's had a nice stretch of movies similar to this. They're not perfect but they're quite enjoyable. He has a solid screen presence with lots of charisma. Aniston always turns in a good performance and this is right in line with that. Support comes from Christine Baranski, Jason Sudeikis, Jeff Garlin, and Peter Greene.

An amusing bit of trivia on this one regards director Andy Tennant. He's directed such films as Hitch and Fool's Gold. However, to me, he'll always be known as "Dancer" from the Grease movies. During the late 70s and early 80s, Tennant was a background dancer in both Grease movies. He also had a role in Midnight Madness, one of my favorite movies as a kid. Everytime I watch these movies, it amuses me to think that he's directing now.

Overall, The Bounty Hunter is an enjoyable way to spend 90 minutes. I recommend it.


Valentine's Day is the latest from director Garry Marshall.

This movie has one of the largest ensemble casts out there. The odds are pretty good that if you're a fan of someone, they make an appearance here. In fact, I was offered a role but turned it down because I didn't want to share the screen with everyone else. A talent like mine deserves the whole spotlight.

Valentine's Day shows how the titular holiday plays out for numerous folks in and around Los Angeles. From the flower shop owner who has just proposed to his girlfriend to the little boy desperately trying to get some flowers to his sweetheart. All stories essentially intertwine in some way. If you've got a short attention span, this movie's not for you because you might not remember everyone. I actually found myself a bit confused from time to time as to who everyone was.

The story here is nothing spectacular. It's your a lot of your typical romantic comedy stuff. There are a couple of small twists thrown in here and there though. The cast is really what elevates this one above and beyond what it could have been. Jamie Foxx, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Anne Hathaway...all are solid. I could go on for days just rambling off names but I'll wrap it up here.

All in all, Valentine's Day is a pretty good movie for its genre. It's the type of movie that I can see becoming a bit of a holiday staple. I recommend it.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street(2010) is the remake to Wes Craven's 1984 horror classic.

The original and I go back a LONG way. This came out when I was 7. I'd seen previews for it but didn't really get it. At that point, I'd seen a few of the Friday the 13th movies and this didn't look anything like that. Our movie theater was a one screen deal back then. You know, the old fashioned way. The reissue of Pinocchio was playing and it would immediately be followed by the adventures of Freddy. My mom had taken me to see Pinocchio and I somehow convinced her to stick around and watch Elm Street after. Definitely an odd double feature but I guess that's what happened with only one screen. Anyway, the movie begins with shots of Freddy assembling his claw glove. I think I got about 2 minutes into it before deciding that it wasn't for me, after all.

At some point the following year, Elm Street made its way onto VHS. We didn't have a VCR at the time but my aunt and uncle did. My cousin Derek is a bit older than me so he was allowed to rent it. Somehow, I managed to get there just in time to watch it. Finally. I don't remember many of my thoughts regarding it at the time, but I knew it scared the shit out of me. I still look back at those days fondly. Movies these days just don't have that same effect on me. The real world is infinitely scarier than anything that can be thrown on the big screen. At any rate, after years of success, the Elm Street series came to an end with 1994's Wes Craven's New Nightmare. Prior to that movie, the Freddy character had become a parody of itself. Rather than being dark and frightening, the character would always have some type of silly one-liner before offing his victim in some bizarre way. Ultimately, they watered it down so that they could bring Freddy into the mainstream. It worked but ultimately did so at the expense of the franchise.

Some 26 years after the original, comes the latest remake from Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes production company. I had high hopes for this one, given my love of the original. How would it fare?

First off, the story is mostly the same. Teenagers in the small town of Springwood are dying. Many of them are afraid to go to sleep, citing nightmares of a burned man with knives for fingers. As opposed to the original, this one focuses on two main characters, Nancy and Quentin. In doing this, they essentially weaken both characters. It was fun watching Nancy evolve from terrorized girl to heroine in the original. Here, there really isn't anything to evolve into. The leads here are played by Rooney Mara and Kyle Gallner. Mara is bland as hell. I know the character is supposed to be suffering from sleep deprivation, but it looks as if she's sleeping through her performance. If they were desperate to have a Mara girl in the cast, they should have gone with Rooney's older sister, Kate. She's easy on the eyes and is a pretty good actress, to boot. As for Gallner, I've seen a lot of him lately. He's tolerable as an actor but he has a look that just makes me want to punch him in the face. Repeatedly. Freddy is played by Jackie Earl Haley. To me, that's the only bit of casting that really worked. Haley is typically pretty solid and he works here as the new Freddy.

The filmmakers took a classic and, for the most part, updated it in all the wrong ways. Instead of genuinely creepy moments, this thing is packed with jump scares. While I am amused by watching my wife jump out of her skin, 95 minutes of jump scares isn't what the Elm Street has been about.

Overall, I really can't recommend this one. As much as I wanted to like it, I found it to be utterly forgettable. If you have to see it, it can certainly wait until it hits video.

Payback: Director's Cut/ Major League

144. Payback: Director's Cut
145. Major League

Payback: Director's Cut is a 1999 crime thriller starring Mel Gibson.

This particular version is director Brian Helgeland's original take on the movie. After several test screenings, this version was deemed too dark and bleak for the general public. Paramount demanded changes to make the movie more accessible and brought in a new director to shoot the new scenes in the script. This ultimately resulted in an extremely different movie. In 2006, Paramount decided to let Helgeland reassemble his version and release this new cut on dvd.

I saw the original version during its theatrical run. However, extracurricular activities at the theater left me not paying much attention to it. At some point during this challenge, I'm going to have to revisit it so I can compare and contrast the two versions.

At any rate, this version was pretty damn good. The story is engaging and the action comes along at a decent clip. The cast is solid with Gibson turning in a good performance. Support comes from Maria Bello, David Paymer, Lucy Liu and the highly underrated Gregg Henry. Henry just exudes sleaze here as Val Resnick, Gibson's nemesis.

Overall, the director's cut of Payback is worth checking out.


Major League is the 1989 comedy about the lovable losers inhabiting the Cleveland Indians.

The owner of the Indians has just passed away, leaving the team in the hands of his wife, a former Vegas showgirl. The only thing she hates more than the team is the city itself. So, she hatches a plan to throw together the worst possible team so she can relocate them to sunny Florida. She assembles a team of nobodies, has-beens and folks that have no business being on a baseball diamond. How will they react when they learn of her plans?

When I was younger, I thought this movie was hilarious. How well did it hold up after all these years? As a comedy, not very well, honestly. The jokes are there but they don't have the same punch they used to. For a comedy, this turned out to be a pretty good baseball movie. The action on the field is done well and the clubhouse scenes are solid too. The story is typical sports stuff with the underdog facing a tremendous battle. What makes this one work as well as it does is the cast. Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger and Wesley Snipes are our three leads and all turn in good performances and are believable as ballplayers. Really solid support comes from Corbin Bernsen, Rene Russo, Chelcie Ross and Dennis Haysbert as the voodoo king, Cerrano. Also, Bob Uecker shines as Harry Doyle, the voice of the Tribe.

Overall, Major League is a good flick. Sports fans will definitely enjoy it where folks looking for a comedy might find a few good laughs. I recommend it.

The Talented Mr. Ripley

143. The Talented Mr. Ripley

The Talented Mr. Ripley is based on the 1955 novel by Patricia Highsmith. It would be the first of a series of five novels to feature the character of Tom Ripley.

Tom Ripley is a nobody. He lives in New York City and would basically do anything to become someone. He stumbles into an opportunity while filling in for a friend at an event. Herbert Greenleaf is a wealthy man whose son, Dickie, has run off to Italy. Herbert offers Ripley money to fly to Italy and attempt to convince Dickie to come back to the States. Upon meeting Dickie and his girlfriend Marge, he is immediately taken with them and gets himself involved in their lives, almost to a scary extent.

I don't throw words like this out all that often, but this was really an excellent movie. Matt Damon turns in a great performance as Ripley. Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow are also quite good. Solid support also comes from Philip Seymour Hoffman, Cate Blanchett and James Rebhorn in smaller roles. The story is engaging and hooks you in right from the start. Having never seen this before, I was intrigued by the twists and turns the movie ended up making. Usually I suffer a bit during longer movies but that definitely wasn't the case with this one.

Overall, The Talented Mr. Ripley is well worth watching. I recommend it.